Hi, my name is Libby. I almost never have time to do anything but throw my hair back in a wanna be bun and I’m even less likely to wear make-up. I don’t own any “cute shoes”, unless you consider my black low top chucks cute. If I’m lucky I remember earrings and a necklace, but it’s usually a rotation between the same three and I can’t tell you when they were actually purchased, actually they are mostly hand me downs from my mother (don’t worry, they are “classic” pieces.) You won’t see me with a cute scarf or outfit for that matter because I don’t own any to speak of. IF I paint my toenails it sticks around for months. On Sunday mornings I decide what I’m going to wear based on the last time I shaved.

I’m not the put together Church-y mom. Sometimes I wish I was, but in reality most days I make my way through the church doors I just hope I don’t look like too much of a hot mess.

Did I mention I’m the president of the women’s ministry at my church? I must admit, I don’t think I “look” very presidential.

I am as real as it gets friends. Not to say that those who have figured out what works for them, fashion wise, aren’t real, I’m just saying I can only go up from here.

It’s not like I had it and then lost it when I had kids. No, it just was never there. During my teen years I wore baggy XL t-shirts and men’s wide leg jeans to hide my body (which was amazing by the way, even though I didn’t realize it at the time.) I wanted to dress modestly and the best way I could think to do that was to have everything hang off of me. My hair was always pulled back because I didn’t know what to do with it. My senior year in high school I started to figure some things out but I still wasn’t great.

Senor year spring missions trip. I was totally rocking my goodwill grandma poly shirt and my wide leg jeans. This was the first time I ever had any kind of confidence in my appearance.

The thing is, I know what looks good. I just don’t have the money or the time to put it all together. Or there’s the fact that things don’t always “fit” for me. I l.o.v.e. boots. I have yet to find a pair of boots that will fit over my muscular calves. Then you have to consider the modesty aspect. I have set the modesty bar high in our house. Not everyone will feel it all necessary, but I do. I am the example to my girls of what beauty and modesty translates into. Sometimes I think I’m doing ok, most times I think I’ve got the modest part down, but not the creative expression and beauty part down. Shopping for modest, creative, and beautiful clothes can be so challenging that I give up and stick with the same old clothes I’ve been wearing for years. Often I feel like I’m conveying modesty survival mode.

I hope and pray I’m not in this place forever. At some point God will provide the money for me to create a new wardrobe. I just pray when that time comes that I won’t run and hide because it’s so time consuming, or because it’s difficult to spend money on myself. Regardless, I don’t know that I will ever be that person who always looks put together. At the very least though, I would like to get it right for church and date nights.

What’s the point of all this? I don’t know, other than you are ok right where you are at. And if no one else gets it or you, know that I do and you are not alone. You are beautiful and you are so much more than your hot mess outfit and hair.

Have you ever walked out of the house after doing the best you could, hoping you don’t look like too much of a hot mess? Share some comment love below and help a girl feel less alone in her hot messness!

Thanks for joining me in my mommy confession!